Parents - Not Pals
June 11, 2006 AM
Pastor Brad Dyrness
Sparks Nazarene Church
Teach your children to
choose the right path, and when they are older, they will remain upon it.
–
The world is full of people who think only about themselves--people who were never taught that what you do will affect others!
What do we teach our kids when we put them first at home?
That they are important, they matter, they’re significant, we build their self-esteem
I say that is a formula to destroy
your children, not build them.
When your children are the center of your family, they become:
selfish, self-centered, & self-absorbed
They believe that they, not God, set the standards and that the entire world is there to serve them.
To nurture a child at the expense of marital stability is to build a castle in the air! --Dr. Judith Sills
Or as the Bible would say – a house built on the sand
What can you do to build your child’s castle on the ROCK?
1. Remember you are a Parent, not a Pal.
Wise discipline imparts wisdom; spoiled adolescents embarrass their parents. --Proverbs 29:15, The Message
A parent who abdicates his or her role as a parent, for the pleasure of being a friend, will pay dearly.
By nature we are ALL selfish. Unless we give direction and shaping to the nature within a child, they will become selfish adults!
· Morals based on God’s Word, not feelings
· Consequences for their actions. The Book of Ezekiel could be called the book of consequences.
Consequences for: idol worship, wandered from God, prostitution, forgotten God and thrust God behind your back, lewdness and your detestable practices, etc…
The Lord does not delight in our consequences, but allows them to teach us!
I love the sign in the print shop – poor planning on your part does not constitute a crisis for me.
Ezekiel also offers hope.
As parents, let the consequences be the bad guy!
· Responsibilities that aren’t always easy.
·
People to consider and
respect.
It’s not about you!
3. Let the principles of God be reflected in how you live!
4. Be there to help them up, not pick them up!
The LORD helps those who have been defeated and takes care of those who are in trouble. --Psalm 145:14, New Century Version
A Parent’s Poem
I gave you life, but I
cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions but I cannot always be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong but I can't always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes but I cannot make you lovely inside.
I can offer you advice but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to be a friend but I cannot make you one.
I can teach you to share but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect but I can't force you to show honor.
I can grieve about your report card but I cannot doubt your teachers.
I can advise you about friends but I cannot choose them for you.
I can teach you about sex but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you the facts of life but I can't build your reputation.
I can tell you about drinking but I can't say NO for you.
I can warn you about drugs but I can't prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can't achieve them for you.
I can teach you kindness, but I can't force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins but I cannot make your morals
I can love you as a daughter or son but I cannot place you in God's Family.
I can pray for you but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can teach you about Jesus but I cannot make HIM your Savior.
I can teach you to OBEY but I cannot make Jesus Your Lord.
I can tell you how to live but I cannot give you Eternal Life.